Ladies, we need to talk. When did empowering oneself become about putting each other down? To be honest, I put the ’10 Characteristics’ in the title just to get your attention- this isn’t one of those lists. But I HAVE been reading some 10 reasons lists that need some improvement. They always start out strong…

Example 1: Alpha girls are tough and know how to handle their own life! They are independent and can tackle any challenge head on!

Example 2: Girls who travel are always up for adventure! They have a deep wanderlust to explore everywhere

Example 3: Girls who read have tons of imagination and creativity!

And I’m like, yaas, girl! You be you!… But then it turns to sh*t.

Example 1: Alpha girls can’t stand to look anything other than their best, so you can always expect them to be on point with their makeup, no sweatpants or smeared mascara here!

Example 2: Girls who travel won’t settle for the ordinary, monotonous life of marriage, children, and white picket fences. If you can’t keep up for their thirst of adventure, don’t bother!

Example 3: Girls who read won’t busy their time with trivial things like parties and meaningless social outings, but will instead prefer to stay in and challenge your intellect.

Wait a second, y’all are throwing mad shade! What’s wrong with women who want to stay in? What’s wrong with women who like to wear sweatpants and not care so much about their appearance? What’s wrong with women who literally gift the world with life and spend their time caring for their children? What’s wrong with girls who like to drink and party? I’m an awkward social hermit and love books more than people, but sometimes all I want is to surround myself with the hustle bustle of a big city. I love sundresses that blow in the spring breeze, but I also love Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and Muay Thai and feeling like I have the power to take on any challenge. I throw myself into academics and find intellectual conversations invigorating, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy myself some worldstar videos and cat pictures. Why can’t women be all of these things and more? We are complicated, we are contradictory, and we don’t have to fit into these boxes and labels.

Women are women. They can wear makeup, they can wear sweatpants, they can read, they can party, they can travel, they can have children, they can watch the Kardashians, they can love Nietzsche- AND NONE OF THIS makes anyone less of a woman. So yes, empower yourself and what makes you, you, but stop putting others down- that’s the least womanly thing you can do.

*Comic ‘Why Female Friendships Are Important’ thanks to Sarah Scribbles Andersen. Sorry, the title and copyright got cut off!*